Archive for the ‘Testimonies’ Category

by Joseph Smith

My life is probably two-thirds over and yet it seems as if it’s only started.  God has been so good to me by protecting me from being turned over to a reprobate mind.  I’ve spent over thirty (30) years in the homosexual lifestyle fighting within myself and asking the question “Why Me?”  Yes, I used to be a practicing homosexual despite my religious training and my knowledge of Scripture regarding homosexuality.  Needless to say, I was miserable, depressed, and filled with guilt and condemnation until  I learned that God loved me in spite of my disobedience.   He was more than willing  to set me totally free from homosexuality and it’s unholy desires. 

I first became aware of my same sex feelings at the tender age of eight (8) years old.  I knew that I was different from the other boys in school.  I would often sit and cry and ask God to take away these same sex feelings, but no relief or progress had ever been mine.  I always knew in my heart that homosexuality was a sin.  I didn’t have to be told.  God had made it clear to me that each man should have his own wife so that they might reproduce themselves and propagate the earth. 

My father came from humble beginnings and was born and raised in the southern part of Kentucky.  My mom also came from Kentucky and was born and raised approximately eight miles from my father yet they never met one another until they moved up to Detroit, Michigan after World War II to work.  Since they were from the South they both were highly influenced by God’s Word.  My church provided me with considerable teaching on the subject of “Hell” as a place where sinners would go once they died if they were not saved.  My father though, despite this religious influence, did not profess to be a Christian.  Mom did, and she was the parent that took me to church each Sunday and gave me my religious background.

As a child I always enjoyed attending church and studying the Bible.  But being that I was developing stronger attraction for boys of my own age it became increasingly more difficult to sit in church and hear about God and what He will do to those who disobey and choose their own path instead of following Christ.  I always feared going to Hell.  I would have nightmares and dreams of touching older boys in inappropriate ways and I knew that something was happening.  My same sex feelings were becoming stronger and stronger and I didn’t have the slightest clue what to do about them.  I did not know then what I know now.  But one thing I did know.  I knew that my homosexual feelings were real and yet I did not ever believe that I had been born this way.  To me, this is significant since I believe that God had given me this insight and also gave me an intense desire to please Him in every way possible.  But no matter how much I thought I loved God, it did not keep me from learning more about homosexual life.  I became attracted to pictures in pornographic magazines.  I became seduced by the pornographic magazines at the bookstores and drug stores and quickly found myself in utter turmoil and conviction from God. 

My interest in sexual matters began to grow once I hit puberty.  Countless thoughts raced through my head night after night to where I developed a nervousness and extreme depression over my ”inability” to stop fantasizing over the nude men I saw in those magazines.  It was as if the image of those men were burned into my brain.  No matter how much I cried out to God there was still an unwillingness on my part  to stop viewing those magazines.  It was as if I was controlled by a desire or power greater than myself.  I wondered if I was demon possessed and that just about drove me crazy until I learned more about God, His Word, and the fact that I truly wanted to serve God and be the kind of person He wanted me to be. 

All through childhood these kind of thoughts lingered in my mind and I knew no one who could sort out my confusion as to why I became homosexual.  I guess I will always wonder just how this all started and why.  God knew me from my mother’s womb.  He knew all along how difficult it was for an eight, nine, on up to approximately 14 year old child to understand.  I had no one to talk to. 

Stepping back a little my difficulties in accepting myself as a homosexual and a Christian seemed to increase more and more as I became more involved in the homosexual lifestyle.  I was holding on to my beliefs of God’s Word and at the same time engaging in homosexual activities. 

My father could not discuss my sexuality with me and that bothered me so much that I began to develop a hatred toward him.  I saw him as my problem.  His drinking habit was becoming worse as well as the daily arguments he and my mom would have.  Sometimes the tension was so pronounced that you would just feel like running away from home and never return.  However difficult it was for me, there was no place to run to so I had to endure my feelings, and yet hope that God would  someday rescue me and free my mind from the constant sexual urges I had.

Just as a side note, I could never figure out why anyone would call homosexuality or refer to it as the “gay” lifestyle.  Believe me,  there is nothing gay about  “gay life.”  It’s all so ironic.  Here I was a Spirit-filled Christian who seemingly loved  God and yet had these awful feelings toward men.  I thought that marriage was possibly an answer to my dilemma so because I wanted a normal life so much I married my high school girlfriend at the age of nineteen years old.

Just to make mention at ten years old I was molested by an older boy of sixteen.  I knew that I was committing sin yet I didn’t have the power within me to object to his advances.  This encounter is highly significant in the overall compulsion to  embrace this sin for it led me on to seek after men who were “gifted” in their own masculinity.  This preoccupation with the male body became an addiction.  It further developed into more and more homosexual behavior.  But even though I was driven as a teen to be with older boys, the fact that I was still confessing that I was saved seemed to encourage the inner hope that one day God would perform a miracle in my life. 

I grew up in a denomination called, “The Church of God” whose headquarters are in Cleveland, Tennessee.  I became born-again at the age of nine years old and was Spirit-Filled at 14 years of age.  At that time, no one knew about my sin except God.  Despite all of my encounters with men God put good Christian people in my life so that I could learn more about God’s love.  Since I was always under heavy conviction and condemnation I would often seek out others to provide me with an answer as to how I could be set free.  I had always heard that God was a miracle worker and that He would deliver me but I had trouble actually believing this from my heart.  My feelings and emotions were lying to me.  It was as if they had a voice of their own.  My faith in God’s willingness to actually help me overcome seemed to get less and less with each time I sinned.  My heart eventually became hardened to the Word of God and I was getting really scared.  Scared about my eternal destination.  

Many of my Christian beliefs became twisted so that I didn’t know when God was speaking to me and when He wasn’t.  Everything in my life had taken on a numbness.  Nothing seemed real.  I look back and I just shutter to think that I was so deceived by Satan.

During my latter teenage years I played the Church organ and often received special blessings from the Holy Spirit. But after playing for approximately eight years I could no longer bring myself to continue in this service for the Lord and still go out on a Saturday night only to willfully sin again.  My entire theology was at stake and it’s only by the Mercy of God that He has delivered me and kept me free.

Leaving my teens I quickly got married thinking that I could finally change by having a wife and God’s approval on my life.  So like I said, I married my girlfriend of six years and we began  living a pretty normal life as husband and wife.  But as life took on new responsibilities for me I began to feel trapped in a marriage that was beginning to have more problems than anything else.  I was in graduate school studying Psychology and intending to teach it at the college level.   Finances were becoming  very crucial then and I did not have gainful employment to sustain a household.  The depression was getting worse and I sought out the advice of doctor’s and psychiatrists everywhere.  After all, I was in Psychology myself and we were taught to use therapy as much as possible to eliminate certain problems.  So I spent another ten precious years in psychological counseling to eliminate and/or decrease my homosexual behavior.  I was divorced after four years of marriage and that left me lonely, more depressed than ever, and free to finally do whatever I wanted to do without anyone standing over me criticizing my immoral behavior. 

After my first divorce I spent the next ten to fifteen years of my life directly in the homosexual community.  There I frequented the gay bars, the parks, the bathhouses, and any other place where homosexuals congregated.  I backslid from God, and put my heart and soul into this new life of sin and found myself on a street corner while vacationing in Puerto  Rico puking my guts out with too much booze in my stomach.  The dog had returned to his vomit.  I had gone as low as I thought possible.  It wasn’t long until I became involved with drugs and alcohol and partook every single day.  It was an attempt to drown my sorrows and to merely exist.  I had no purpose for living.  I  couldn’t understand why I had sunk so low because there was still a sense of innocence when it came to my thinking as to whom was responsible for being a homosexual anyway.  I was sure that I didn’t bring these feelings upon myself.  I already knew that satan was responsible for his part in all of this, but I had played a part too.  I felt that life had given me a bad wrap and that I was innocent and somehow was not responsible for the onset this sin.

I lived as fast as I could and for a while things began to quiet down for me and life wasn’t so dramatic.  I felt good at times as I tried to accept my plight and just live as if there was no tomorrow.  The Bible talks about  how there is “…pleasure in sin for a season.”  Well, I was experiencing some pleasure yet I started to sense a return of the Holy Spirit’s voice telling me time was short and eternity was long.  It wasn’t long before I again was convicted by the Holy Spirit in a real way.  By this time certain evangelists throughout the United States were becoming quite popular and were captivating audiences by their insight and spiritual knowledge of the Word of God.  Men like Kenneth Copeland, and women such as Joyce Meyer began to have a real effect on my  life.  It wasn’t long until I became interested in drowning myself into teachings from both ministries.  I would listen to Faith teaching under Kenneth E. Hagin Sr.  and my faith started to grow once more only this time I was receiving a witness in my spirit that all that I  heard was true.  I then purchased every teaching tape that I could get my hands on and listen for hours.  The Word was rich to my ears and I saw for myself that God loved me and there was nothing He wouldn’t do for me.  I wanted to believe that more than anything.  So I studied Mark 11:23-24.  I then purchased every teaching tape that I could get my hands on and listen for hours.  The Word was rich to my ears and I saw for myself that God loved me and there was nothing He wouldn’t do for me.  I wanted to believe that more than anything.  So I studied Mark 11:23-24 where Jesus said you could essentially  have whatever you say as long as you believe it in your heart.  Although, there was much controversy at that time as to whether or not the teachings I was listening to was heresy.  The Holy Spirit moved and through a period of time confirmed His Word by changing me and lessening my desires to go out and engage in homosexual activities.  I no longer found it necessary to drink alcohol, smoke a cigarette, feed on drugs such as marijuana and I had greater inner strength to resist these things and follow through by submitting myself to the Lord more than ever before. 

It took some time, but each time I confessed God’s Word was true, and relied on it to overcome my problems this inner strength grew stronger and stronger and I experienced for the first time a complete sensation of God’s peace and love in my being.  My entire personality, and disposition took on new meaning.  I could see more clearly how God intended for man to live and because I was enjoying my Christian experience God just overwhelmed me more with His amazing grace, and uncompromising Love.  I learned how God took away all of my sins, past, present, and future and was not holding anything against me.  He had given me a rebirth of my former acceptance of Him and energized me with a new resolve to be obedient to God in word, and deed. 

Once I felt that my salvation was real I then became interested in a woman who came to my church.  After getting to know her better, we got married.  She knew of my past and was totally resigned to help me in any way I needed.  I began to feel safe with her.  Soon, we had a daughter and I was the world’s happiest man alive.  My daughter was truly a gift from God and she means everything to me.  I felt that God had given me a second chance.  And He did.  However, after 4 years of marriage we began to suffer financial problems.   The pressure from that marriage and the excessive stress it had upon me made the old temptations come back again.  It wasn’t long before I was back in the gay bars looking for some solace and a friend who could perhaps understand.  But my unfaithfulness had caused my wife to divorce me and I was again back in the homosexual community.  Fortunately, I was able to return home to my parents house in the fall of 1997 and there I have lived until the present time. 

Now, there is a portion of my life that remains to be told.  God worked out a situation for me while I was living in sin.  I believe He did this just to win me back.  At age 30 years old I met a young man who shared my life and eventually became my best friend.  He is considerably younger than myself, but God has saved him, and delivered him from homosexuality as well as he has me.  Both of us came out of the homosexual life and we are both serving God with all due diligence.  No sexual contact, but just a good open moral friendship between brothers in the Lord.  So you see, God will meet you right where you are, and will give you the desires of your heart when you finally put Him first in your life.

I am glad to report that my deliverance is still real and God is using it for His Glory.  I have never been happier than I am now.  The greatest factor that influenced my deliverance was the Renewing of My Mind to the Word of God.  (Romans 12:1-2)  Presenting my body as a living sacrifice each day has helped me to focus on it so that I don’t enter into sin if tempted.  There are no magical formulas to receive deliverance from God.  It comes through simple faith and God’s amazing Grace over your life.  All I did was immerse myself in God’s Word and to confess it night and day.  I joined a good church that preached the whole Bible and became obedient to God.  I had to deny myself from thoughts that were against  the Word and fill my mind with thoughts centering around God.   In time God did the delivering while I submitted and allowed myself to be willing to adopt His way of thinking.

May God help each one of us to accept His way of doing things and not our own will.  God is faithful and He desires to set us free from satan’s grasp.  Learn to trust Him more than yourself.  Love yourself enough to admit that God’s way is the best way.  Escaping the fires of hell and winning a mansion in Heaven is worth every bit of hardship I’ve encountered.   My life didn’t have to have so many hardships.  I made them hard by my ignorance and unwillingness to submit to His Word.  God is not the One Who is to blame for the time it took me to finally accept Him at His Word.  But He is the One Who gloriously saved my soul.  I pray that this testimony will help you to not do some of the things I did, but will inspire you to avoid so many hardships by opening up your heart and allowing your mind to be renewed and changed by His Word. 

Friend…Have you been handed the lie that homosexuals and lesbians “are born that wa?” That is a lie from the pit of hell and whoever believes it s deceived. There is deliverance available to youy if you will but call upon God toset you free as Joe discovered! Believe and place your faith in Jesus Christ. Please read “The Essential of Eternal Life” on the HomePage of this website! As you read it meaningfully, you willdiscover God’s love for you,the theme o thismnistry, Hi Love Extended Minisgtries, Iternational. I am the founder of this ministry. When you come to the prayer in that expose, and desire toinvite Jesus to be your Lord and Saviour, please say the payer as though it were coming from you. You can of course pray you own prayer so long as you are talking to God and ask Him to set you free from the penalty of your sins (Hell for an eternity) He will, in His time!

If you have been set free from homosexuality or lesbianism and have become a born-again believer, please let me hear from you and I invite you to share your own testimony with me. I will rejoice with you! You maywrite to me at revjoe2701@comcast.net

God bless you!

Rev. Joe Diaz

Founder, His Love Extended Ministries, International

(Author Unknown)
[Edited by Chris Long]
 
Roger Crawford had everything he needed to play tennis – except two hands and a leg.
 
When Roger’s parents saw their son for the first time, they saw a baby with a thumb-like projection extended directly out of his right forearm and a thumb and one finger stuck out of his left forearm. He had no palms. The baby’s arms and legs were shortened, and he had only three toes on his shrunken right foot and a withered left leg, which would later be amputated.
 
The doctor said Roger suffered from ectrodactylism, a rare birth defect affecting only one out of 90,000 children born in the United States. The doctor said Roger would probably never walk or care for himself. Fortunately Roger’s parents didn’t believe the doctor.
 
“My parents always taught me that I was only as handicapped as I wanted to be,” said Roger. “They never allowed me to feel sorry for myself or take advantage of people because of my handicap. Once I got into trouble because my school papers were continually late,” explained Roger who had to hold his pencil with both “hands” to write slowly. “I asked Dad to write a note to my teachers, asking for a two-day extension on my assignments. Instead Dad made me start writing my papers two days early!”
 
Roger’s father always encouraged him to get involved in sports, teaching Roger to catch and throw a volleyball, and play backyard football after school. At age 12, Roger managed to win a spot on the school football team.
 
Before every game, Roger would visualize his dream of scoring a touchdown. Then one day he got his chance. The ball landed in his arms and off he ran as fast as he could on his artificial leg toward the goal line, his coach and teammates cheering wildly. But at the ten-yard line, a guy from the other team caught up with Roger, grabbing his left ankle. Roger tried to pull his artificial leg free, but instead it ended up being pulled off.
 
“I was still standing up,” recalls Roger. “I didn’t know what else to do, so I started hopping towards the goal line. The referee ran over and threw his hands into the air. Touchdown! You know, even better than the six-points was the look on the face of the other kid who was holding my artificial leg.”
 
Roger’s love of sports grew and so did his self-confidence. But not every obstacle gave way to Roger’s determination. Eating in the lunchroom with the other kids watching him fumble with his food proved very painful to Roger, as did his repeated failure in typing class. “I learned a very good lesson from typing class,” said Roger. “You can’t do everything – it’s better to concentrate on what you can do.”
 
One thing Roger could do was swing a tennis racket. Unfortunately, when he swung it hard, his weak grip usually launched it into space. Roger stumbled upon an odd-looking tennis racket in a sports shop and accidentally wedged his finger between its double-barred handle when he picked it up. The snug fit made it possible for Roger to swing, serve and volley like an able-bodied player. He practiced every day and was soon playing – and losing – matches.
 
But Roger persisted. He practiced and practiced and played and played. Surgery on the two fingers of his left hand enabled Roger to grip his special racket better, greatly improving his game. Although he had no role models to guide him, Roger became obsessed with tennis and in time he started to win.
 
Roger went on to play college tennis, finishing his tennis career with 22 wins and 11 losses. He later became the first physically handicapped tennis player to be certified as a teaching professional by the United States Professional Tennis Association. Roger now tours the country, speaking to groups about what it takes to be a winner, no matter who you are.
 
“The only difference between you and me is that you can see my handicap, but I can’t see yours. We all have them. When people ask me how I’ve been able to overcome my physical handicaps, I tell them that I haven’t overcome anything. I’ve simply learned what I can’t do – such as play the piano or eat with chopsticks – but more importantly, I’ve learned what I can do. Then I do what I can with all my heart and soul.”
 
Follow up Note from Chris: You know, while a nice “feel good” story, there’s some deep lessons in here for us as Christians. We are each given gifts by the Lord: we excel in certain things, and not so well in others. The Lord gives us gifts that we might use them to further His Kingdom here on earth. As a Christian, we are to be constantly growing. But sometimes we get discouraged thinking things like: “I don’t know how to be used by the Lord” and “What can I do for the Lord?” and “I don’t have a pastoral gifting or a worship leader gifting – so what can I do?” And sometimes we get so hung up on these things that we neglect the things that the Lord HAS gifted us with. No, he doesn’t gift us all to be a pastor, but he does gift in a LOT of other ways. There are certain things that I do well, and therefore I should do them with all my heart and soul, and not worry so much about the rest. And there are certain things that you do well (whether you think you do or not!) and you should do them with all your heart and soul and not worry about the rest. And ultimately, whatever we do, whether it is fixing a computer, painting someone’s house, encouraging someone, administrating, or being a pastor or worship leader, it should ALL be done to give God the glory (one way or the other) because He is the one who has given us these gifts and we are to use them to serve God! This is a vital realization

My story has to do with the healing power of God. While many come to know Jesus as their Savior, Redeemer and Lord, not everyone has had the experience of knowing Him as their Healer… but they can! Jesus suffered and died on the cross not only for our salvation, but for our healing as well. The Word of God gives us a prophetic word in Isaiah 53:5 that;

“He (Jesus) was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed”.

In November of 1992, my family and I moved to Montgomery, Alabama, sensing that God was leading us back there after having been away for several years on the mission field in Argentina, starting a home church in Orlando and then directing Agape Bible School in Cullman, Alabama. Even though my husband had served on the ministry staff at our home church for about seven years prior to our departure, due to their inability to hire him back at that time we returned with no job offer and three small children: Jessica, John and Jason.

For the first six months, things seemed to get worse instead of better. My husband, Norris, soon began a secular job after years of full-time ministry and it was a very humbling time, but he was determined to provide for his family no matter what. In the Spring of 1993, I recall a series of really abnormal and negative things happening to us… things like me getting bitten by a brown recluse spider while I was sleeping. How weird is that? Then there was Norris’ car being hit by a pick-up truck and flipped upside down, causing his car to spin around three times on its hood as it skidded down Carmichael Road during rush hour. When the car stopped, his tape player was still playing a Kenneth Hagin teaching tape on “Faith”. Norris unbuckled his seat belt while still hanging upside down and his head pressing on the hood, and then walked home from the accident. We only had one car at the time. As he came into our apartment, he announced, “Honey, you’re looking at a walking miracle”. The car was totaled, but he was without a scratch. It wasn’t until I went to the place where they had towed our car that I realized how blessed he was to have emerged alive.

If ever there was a time to be discouraged and begin questioning whether we had really heard from God about coming back to Montgomery, the temptation was the biggest at that point. I came to the realization that bad things can happen even to people who are serving God. In other words, nobody is exempt from having to face difficult times or tests in life. The gospel of John 16:13 says that “…in this godless world you will continue to experience to difficulties. But take heart! I’ve conquered the world.” (The Message) It’s how you react under pressure that determines your final outcome.

During that same Spring I found out I had a punctured eardrum. When I went to the doctor concerning it, I casually asked him about a lump I had found a few months ago. Quite frankly, I wasn’t at all concerned, thinking it was just a calcification since I had just stopped nursing our youngest son, then 8 months old. The doctor set up an appointment for me to have my first mammogram at age 35. After that he scheduled a biopsy and while the outpatient procedure was being performed under local anesthetic, I could hear the doctor saying that the tumor looked benign. It didn’t have the texture nor the appearance of a malignant tumor.

The final pathological report took a very long 10 days; I guess they wanted to be sure and for that I am grateful. When the doctor’s office finally called, they asked both my husband and I to come in. As we sat there in his office, I have to honestly say that I was somewhat caught off-guard with the news that I had carcinoma, the same form of cancer that my father had died of three years prior.

When the news came, after the initial shock, I cried and thought to myself… “How can this be happening to me at this age?” I wish I could say that I was emotionally unshakeable and that I boldly declared an appropriate scripture in that doctor’s office as a testament to my faith. In reality, it felt like someone had taken the wind out of me, like the last blow of a nine-round fight, and I could barely breathe. It was undoubtedly a full-blown attack from Satan and I knew it. The devil told me I was going down. But guess what? God’s arms sustained me while I caught my breath. God’s words stirred up the faith and confidence that I could and would make a “come back”. And God’s strength saw me through the disfiguring removal of that malignant tumor and lymph nodes and three months of double-dosage chemotherapy.

Following the diagnosis, I approached the altar for prayer during a church service in our home church. The Bible instructs us that when “(believers) lay hands on the sick, they shall recover”. (Mark 16:18) Also, in the book of James 5:14-15 it says… “Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up”. So, I discreetly told my pastor what was I was facing and asked that he not announce it to the entire congregation since it was breast cancer. Also, God directed me to guard my heart by not telling everyone… only those who I knew would speak words of faith and encouragement over me and believe with me for my healing. Many well-intentioned people, even Christians, will say things that they think will help you, but they really don’t do anything more than plant seeds of doubt and disbelief. So, it’s wise to “guard your heart”. (Proverbs 4:23)

As a woman, your physical appearance has more effect on your self esteem than you may realize. Due to the chemo, which is basically toxins that they pump into your body to destroy the “bad cells”, many of the “good cells” are also affected. I lost all of my hair, even eyebrows and eyelids, and had a mastectomy. My weight decreased from 130 to 108 pounds due to nausea and decreased appetite. The lining of my mouth was so tender that anything I did eat had to be soft. My “big hair” wig looked pretty funny on my skinny little body and I got rid of it as soon as my hair grew out a couple of inches, about seven months after the chemo was finished.

Shortly before I was diagnosed, God had given me the “green light” to go back to work as a teacher, which is what my college degrees had prepared me for. I had been a “stay-at-home mom” for about eight years up until then. Within three weeks’ time, I had secured a part-time teaching at Auburn University at Montgomery for the summer and a full-time job teaching at St. James starting that August. Finally, a break-through in our finances! So, when they told me I had cancer, I was furious at the devil… just when it looked like things were getting better!

Determined that cancer was NOT going to keep me from working, the devil was NOT going to steal my health and he was NOT going to steal our finances any longer, I made up my mind to press through. Enough was enough already. So following my diagnosis in March and my mastectomy in May, I worked at AUM all summer long while getting chemo from June through August. Through it all I missed only one day of work and that was a day that I was scheduled to receive a treatment in Birmingham. I still vividly remember quoting Psalm 103:1-5 out loud while driving to work every day. I was putting a demand on myself and declaring to God and the devil that I would… “Bless the Lord, o my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name. Bless the Lord, o my soul, and forget not all His benefits. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases; he redeems (rescues) my life from the pit and crowns me with love and compassion. He satisfies my desires with good things, so that my youth is renewed like the eagle’s.” I was telling my soul (my mind, will and emotions) to praise God at ALL times… I wasn’t praising Him for the cancer, I was praising Him despite the cancer, knowing that His name, the name of Jesus, is greater than any other name in heaven or on earth and that “no weapon formed against you shall prosper”. (Isaiah 54:17) Sometimes you’ve got to tell your mind and your body what to do. We have to allow our “spiritual man”, so to speak, take precedence over our thought life and feelings, not the other way around. It’s called “walking in the spirit” as opposed to walking in the flesh. Be determined not to be ruled by your feelings and allow the Holy Spirit to direct your reaction to the things that come against you.

My new job teaching full-time at St. James School was to begin in mid-August. Since my immunity was at its lowest point and it was not wise to be around so many students, (a mere cold could’ve killed me,) I had to muster up the courage to ask the headmaster for the first two weeks off. Surprisingly, he was very gracious and said it would be no problem; he even let me choose the substitute… a missionary who had formerly taught school and was home on furlough from Ecuador. God even provided that!

After each treatment, I was weak, felt nauseous and looked pretty pathetic. But deciding to continue on with everyday life to the fullest extent possible rather than sit around feeling sorry for myself proved to be the best choice. I remember putting on eyeliner around my eyes and on my eyebrows to help compensate for having lost all my hair. When I put on my dresses, they were about two sizes too big, but I didn’t care because the bible tells us that “faith without works is dead” (James 2:26), so this was one way that I felt I could put my faith in action. My body and my mind were screaming “Why bother? You look ridiculous!”, but my spirit man knew that it was important not to be ruled by negative thoughts or how I was feeling.

I told the devil that he would NOT steal my job, my faith, nor my health, try as he may. I quoted John 10:10 out loud… “The thief has come to steal, kill and destroy, but I have come to give life… and life more abundant”. I meditated on the Word of God regarding healing and read faith-building books. I listed to tapes over and over again, especially Dodie Osteen’s tape called “Healed of Cancer”, as she shared her testimony of how God healed her of terminal liver cancer. The doctors gave her three weeks to live and sent her home to die. Well, perhaps you’ve heard of Joel Osteen who now pastors thousands of members at Lakewood Church in Houston, Texas. Joel is her son and she is still sitting on the front row, more than 15 years later. John Osteen, Dodie’s husband and the founder of Lakewood Church, is now with the Lord and he was our pastor’s pastor.

Now just because Dodie was a pastor’s wife doesn’t mean she got special treatment. God says that he “is no respecter of persons” (Romans 2:11); what he does for one he wills to do for all. He doesn’t play favorites, he just wants us to hook up with him, find out his will, do what you know you should do and then trust him to do the rest. So, I just figured that if he would heal her, he would heal me, too! The scriptures that Dodie quoted on that tape fed my faith so much that I decided to type them on paper. So I sat there and typed, pausing the tape after each verse of scripture, and then carried those sheets around with me everywhere I went. I stuck them in my pocket, like a sword in its sheath, and pull them out to do battle whenever a negative thought entered my head. The Bible instructs us to “resist the devil and he will flee”. (James 4:7) I used to think, “OK, God, I want to resist the devil, but how?”. Well, this is one good way to do it. You can resist the devil by refusing to meditate on negative thoughts. It’s not a sin to have a negative thought, as that is how the devil tries to seduce us all into pulling away from God; he tries to do this to everyone. But when we choose to continue thinking that negative thought, my husband likes to call it “stinking thinking”, then prevents us from walking in faith. You cannot have faith and be in doubt at the same time. So when a negative thought came into my head, I would pull out my healing scripture sheets and quote them out loud.

Nights were always the worst. A spirit of fear would sometimes wake me up and tell me I wasn’t going to live to see my children grow up or ever see my grandchildren. So, rather than passively stay in bed listening to that junk, I’d get up out of bed and go to the living room there in our little 1100 square feet apartment and wage spiritual warfare on the devil, praying and declaring things like, “I shall live and not die and declare the works of the Lord”. (Psalm 118:17) After several rounds of that, the night-time panic attacks stopped altogether.

During the daytime, I had to resist the temptation to dwell on all the negative information on cancer that people had given to me so that I would be “informed”. My mom had come down from New York to help us with our three small children after my mastectomy and she brought with her all the magazines and research she had accumulated when my dad had cancer four years prior. I had a pile of stuff six inches thick under my bed. Please don’t get me wrong; it’s fine to have knowledge about what you are faced with so that you can pray specifically and I know my mom’s intentions were good. She had lost my dad to cancer and she didn’t want to lose her firstborn either. But after a while, the more I read about the problem, the more I could feel my faith draining away. I finally was so convicted that I had heard enough about the negative and needed to now replace it with God’s good report that I took the whole pile of magazines to the trash. What was really needed more than anything else was to feed on God’s Word concerning the problem. God’s words are “…life and radiant health to anyone who discovers their meaning”. (Pr. 4: 22 NLT) Meditating on scripture is like taking medicine and as with any medicine it is more effective if taken consistently, in regular doses.

The church body at Christian Life Church in Montgomery, Alabama, really came through in a big way to help us. The hospitality team brought food to us the first five days after each of the three chemo treatments. One dear sister, Pam Rhodes, watched my three children on the days of my treatments and another one, Pam Williams, accompanied me to Birmingham on those days so that my husband could be with me during the 2-3 days following each treatment when I felt the worst. I don’t know what I would’ve done without any of them. The body of Christ needs one another, especially in times like these.

Speaking of Birmingham, did I mention that we had no medical insurance during this time? My doctor in Montgomery sent me to what was then called the Baptist Montclair Referral Clinic for cancer patients; I filled out some paperwork and the only bill we ever received was for the pathology fees which totaled a thousand dollars. God only knows what the total bill would’ve been with today’s cost of medical fees; we certainly didn’t have it! The Pneupigen (sp?) shots Norris had to administer to me in my thigh every day, thirty of them in all, normally cost $100 each. But there was no charge. What makes this testimony of God’s provision even more fantastic is that even the thousand dollars was provided supernaturally. We received a check from a Baptist brother who had been a long-term medical missionary in Africa for exactly one thousand dollars within days of receiving the bill. God is so good! He made a way where there was no way in the financial realm as well.

Within a matter of months, God turned everything around for us. It did not happen overnight and even though it would’ve been nice not to have had to go through it all, the good thing is that I did go “through” it all and didn’t stay there. The diagnosis was in April of 1993. Between then and August of that year was the toughest part, with the mastectomy, chemo and after effects. But by the first weeks of September, I was back! I may have looked funny at 5’7”, 110 pounds and wearing a wig, but I was back teaching high school, six classes a day, on two separate campuses and “floating”, without a classroom of my own. As time progressed, my weight and coloring came back and by the following spring my hair was just long enough to take off that silly wig… praise God forevermore! No more Dolly Parton hair on a body that looked like a toothpick! The following August we bought our very first home for $89,000 after 10 years of marriage and being on the mission field. We definitely felt like we were “moving on up” from our little 1100 square foot apartment for 5 people to what seemed like a palace with 1,650 square feet. I can remember how grateful we were for that nearly new garden home. Furthermore, Norris had been asked to come back on staff at the church as the Associate Pastor and God was blessing us from every direction. Life was so sweet… and it still is.

One of my more active roles at our home church in Montgomery, besides helping to lead short-term mission trips with my husband, was praying one-on-one with people at the altar for those battling similar circumstances. Over the years since that time, I have heard countless stories of people who have been healed by the power of almighty God, against all odds, by either an instantaneous miracle or over the process of time by persevering in faith. There are numerous ways to receive healing. The Bible says that “Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever”. (Heb 13:8) What he did during his earthly ministry he’s still doing today, through the Body of Christ. He’s still saving, healing and setting people free from every bondage. But he requires us to have faith and “faith comes by hearing and hearing the word of God.” (Heb 10:17) So that is why I felt compelled to proclaim this message to you today. I’m sharing my testimony with one purpose in mind and that is to renew your hope and build your faith in my God, who is not only full of power but also full of desire to see you blessed in every area of your life.

It’s been over sixteen years since I receive my healing from cancer. I go for my yearly check-ups and do my best to follow a healthy life-style. God increased our faith to believe for a larger home in 1998 in Montgomery, our combined salaries have more than tripled since those tough times in the early 90’s. Then, in August of 2005, God directed us to come to Boynton Beach to pastor Grace Community Church, between Boca Raton and West Palm Beach in South Florida. He has placed within us a vision to help people, struggling with the same tests and trials that we’ve had to face, to show them how with God all things are indeed possible. God never ceases to amaze me. Whenever I get discouraged, I think of the old song that says “Why so downcast, O my soul? Put your trust in God… and bless his holy name!”

“For I know the plans that I have for you, says the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and you will find me, when you seek with all of your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and I will bring you back from captivity.” Jeremiah 29: 11-14a

As I’ve listened to the testimonies of others who have been healed, I’ve come to realize that they all have a number of things in common. This is what I’ve noticed:

1) They didn’t blame God for the illness.

a.. Jesus came to give life. Satan comes to rob, kill & destroy. (paraphrased: John 10:10) Attitude is as important as what you do.
2) They were true worshippers.

a.. “If anyone is a worshipper of God and does his will, He hears him.” (Jn 9:31)
a.. “I will bless the Lord at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth.” (Psalm 34:1 )
3) They were proactive in their faith.

a.. Be aggressive, not passive!
b.. Do spiritual warfare against the devil!
c.. Declare the scriptures that pertain to your personal situation out loud over your life… put the devil to flight!
d.. Hebrews 6:12 says, “We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.”
4) They became firmly established in the God’s Word.

a.. No matter your previous experience, leave no room for doubt!
b.. Find the scriptures that pertain to your personal situation and meditate on them, day and night.
c.. As you do, his word goes from head knowledge to heart knowledge.
5) They refused to compare themselves to others.

a.. Whether someone you know had a good experience or a bad experience.
b.. Examples: my dad (died of cancer) and Nellie (healed instantaneously)
c.. Don’t dwell on anything that causes doubt to rise.
6) They resisted self-pity.

a.. Focus on the promise (Jesus), not the problem.
7) They saw themselves healed; expected to overcome.

a.. Put up pictures on the refrigerator or the bathroom mirror of them healthy.
b.. Know that in the end, we win!
c.. In fact, the Bible says we are “MORE than conquerors” (Rom 8:37)
They surrounded themselves with those who would speak only faith-filled words to them.

a.. “Guard your heart, for out of it flow the issues of life.” (Pr.4:23 )
b.. If people are not really helping when you are fighting for your life, politely send them home if you can.
I’m telling you right now… God wants you healed! Stop praying “Oh God, if it be thy will to heal me, please do…) The Word of God makes this plain that it IS His will and where knowledge of His will enters, so comes the faith to claim that promise for yourself. In fact, he is ready, willing and able to heal you right here… right now! All you have to do is call on the name of Jesus, believe him at his Word, trust him with your life and then cooperate with Him. To “co-operate” means to work together WITH someone. In this case, you must work together with God. To put it another way, do all that you know to do in the natural and then depend on Him to do the supernatural. I’m not telling you to stop taking your medication; you should co-operate with your doctors, too. When your healing becomes apparent, it will be a sign and a wonder to the doctors and even they will eventually acknowledge that your medications aren’t needed anymore. Don’t confuse faith with presumption. God is NOT against medical science. If he was, it would be a sin to even go the doctors (…which is not true!). We just need to understand that Jesus is the source of all healing. Chemo may have helped me, but I know lots of people who have had chemo or radiation and those treatments alone didn’t heal them… so man’s medicine and knowledge alone are not the key factors. Men, even doctors, are human and fallible. Yes, you should feel good about the doctors who are caring for you, but put your ultimate trust in God!

If you are facing a physical attack, a disease or a chronic illness today and would like prayer, please fill out the information on this link and we will bring it before God during our intercessory prayer service every Monday night. (And when you receive your healing, please send us your praise report!) Better yet, if you live in South Florida, come visit us and tell one of the ushers you would like prayer following the Sunday service at 10:30 a.m.

If you can’t visit us here at Grace Community Church, find a good, Spirit-filled church where they believe and preach that divine healing is still for today. “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, now and forever”. (Heb 13:8) Jesus is the same; what He did while on earth is still his will today. (Acts 10:38) It is so important that you purposefully surround yourself with people who are speaking words of faith over you. (So be careful what you allow yourself to listen to, the programs you watch, and the things you read.) Once you find a church like that, ask for the leadership to anoint you with oil and pray the prayer of faith over you for your healing. Remember, it is not the person praying for you, but the power of God that resides within them that can be instrumental in bringing forth the manifestation of your healing as you get into agreement with them and receive your healing by faith. Don’t ever idolize any minister of the Gospel. If you examine Jesus’ ministry on earth, some were healed upon contact with him, some by the confession of their mouths, and some were healed “as they went”. But they all got the ball rolling, so to speak, by believing. The reason Jesus could do no mighty works in Nazareth was because of their unbelief. That is one thing that can stop healing in its tracks. So, if you are still not sure about the things I’ve told you today, I would challenge you to seek out the scriptures for yourself and allow the Holy Spirit to show you that what I’m saying is true. Only then can you operate in faith, because “without faith it is impossible to please God.” (Heb. 11:6)

Finally, you must fully EXPECT that your final outcome will be complete recovery, health and wholeness in your body. Don’t just hope so… know so!

*****************************

Cry out and draw near to Jesus, then hold fast to your faith! He alone has the power to heal you. You, too, can overcome “by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of your testimony.” (Rev 12:11)

And until you see the full manifestation of your healing, remember these words from Isaiah 42:16:

“I will lead the blind by ways they have not known,

Along unfamiliar paths I will guide them;

I will turn darkness into light before them

And make the rough places smooth”

Just like Jesus did for me, you can also become more than just a survivor…

you’ll be an OVERCOMER, and your testimony can affect hundreds, thousands,perhaps even millions of people facing similar battles.

Encouragement

“For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved.” — Romans 10:10

Copyright © 2009-2010 · All Rights Reserved ·

Author Unknown

After a few of the usual Sunday evening hymns, the church’s pastor once again slowly stood up, walked over to the pulpit, and gave a very brief introduction of his childhood friend. With that, an elderly man stepped up to the pulpit to speak, “A father, his son, and a friend of his son were sailing off the Pacific Coast,” he began, “when a fast approaching storm blocked any attempt to get back to shore. The waves were so high, that even though the father was an experienced sailor, he could not keep the boat upright and the three were swept into the ocean.”

The old man hesitated for a moment, making eye contact with two teenagers who were, for the first time since the service began, looking somewhat interested in his story. He continued, “Grabbing a rescue line, the father had to make the most excruciating decision of his life… To which boy he would throw the other end of the line. He only had seconds to make the decision.

The father knew that his son was a Christian, and he also knew that his son’s friend was not. The agony of his decision could not be matched by the torrent of waves. As the father yelled out, “I love you, son!”

He threw the line to his son’s friend. By the time he pulled the friend back to the capsized boat, his son had disappeared beyond the raging swells into the black of night. His body was never recovered.”

By this time, the two teenagers were sitting straighter in the pew, waiting for the next words to come out of the old man’s mouth. “The father,” he continued, “knew his son would step into eternity with Jesus, and he could not bear the thought of his son’s friend stepping into an eternity without Jesus. Therefore, he sacrificed his son. How great is the love of God that He should do the same for us.” With that, the old man turned and sat back down in his chair as silence filled the room.

Within minutes after the service ended, the two teenagers were at the old man’s side.

“That was a nice story,” politely started one of the boys, “but I don’t think it was very realistic for a father to give up his son’s life in hopes that the other boy would become a Christian.”

“Well, you’ve got a point there,” the old man replied, glancing down at his worn Bible. A big smile broadened his narrow face, and he once again looked up at the boys and said, “It sure isn’t very realistic, is it? But I’m standing here today to tell you that THAT story gives me a glimpse of what it must have been like for God to give up His Son for me.”

“You see… I was the son’s friend.”

~~Unknown

by Lynn Maynard

Arizona, USA

On Thursday, November 19, 2009, I took a six-hour embroidery class. When the class ended at 3:30 p.m., I drove my car to a nearby fast food drive through. I then returned to the sewing shop for my next class, which would last four hours. I parked in front of the store and ate my meal. It was a nice day, with temperatures in the mid 70s, although our fall Phoenix nights the temperature falls to the low 40s. As I ate, I noticed a man sitting on the curb. He was about six foot tall, with a thin build, weathered face and a couple days beard growth. He reached into a backpack, pulled out a razor, and began to shave. When finished, he proceeded to change his holey gross-looking socks, which were caked with dried blood, and replaced them with a new pair. Heseems to have pride in taking care of himself, I thought. When I buy something at the drive thru, I throw my change in the pocket of the driver’s side door. Watching this man I decided to hand him what was there: four bucks.
As I approached him he said, “You have a nice car.” “I’m still paying for it,” I said. “Here’s a few dollars. When you’re finished maybe you can get something at the drive-in nearby. They have a nice selection on their dollar menu and you can get refills.” He thanked me, saying, “God Bless you.”

I then went back in for my next class. My class finished at 7 p.m. and I loaded all my equipment into the back of my car. After 10 hours of classes I was tired. Then I saw it. WHAT is that NOTE, I thought, don’t tell me someone scratched my car. I got in the car and turned on the light to read the note. To my surprise, here was a note thanking me for the $4.00. Dan told me that he is doing all right, but many homeless people need socks, so maybe I could carry a few pairs in my car. He said that he gets gift cards for $10.00 and socks at the nearby church. In his note Dan said, “If you want to, you could donate socks to the church, then the homeless men would be very grateful.”

WOW!

It was only four bucks. Dan’s thank you gave me the better gift — of feeling that I can make a difference, with socks! Dan taught me even when you are homeless you can make someone’s life better. Now I want to do more for our homeless friends in need. Thank you, Dan, socks are on the way!
Kat

Have a double rainbow day.

Posted by: “April Hunt” pastor_april@yahoo.com pastor_april

1 John 3:19-20

Our actions will show that we belong to the truth, so we will be confident when we stand before God. Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings, and He knows everything.

As a woman who has struggled with many feelings of inadequacy, guilt, and the feeling of “never being good enough”–John’s words here have been of great comfort in those moments in life when the guilt of feelings start to cloud our reality in Christ.
Almost a decade ago now, I was diagnosed with manic bipolar disorder. I remember sitting in the psychiatric ward of the hospital confused by this diagnosis. What did that mean? Did this mean I would never be “normal”? Did this mean that God would never be able to use me? What would I do now? I felt a sense of dome and gloom.
As a child I always struggled with the feeling that I wasn’t like others. I wasn’t “normal”. I use to pray to the God I didn’t yet know–asking, no, pleading with Him to make me normal! The prayer always went unanswered. And I often would wonder why God wouldn’t answer my simple prayer. I wasn’t asking to be a millionaire or even for a cure for some incurable disease. I asked to be normal–to be like the other girls I knew. I wanted to “feel” normal. I didn’t want to stand out in a crowd. I didn’t want to be different. It was a serious struggle that lasted well into my mid-twenties.
Then I met “the Truth” — Jesus Christ. And as I started to get to know God and His character–His Word, His will, His desires, His mind…it made me take pause. “Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings, and He knows everything”. God–God knows everything! And no matter how I “feel” about myself, it is God who knows everything! And because I belong to the Truth (Jesus Christ), I can stand confident before God! “Even” if we feel guilty? Yes! Praise Jesus! “Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings..”!
In my life I have struggled daily with my emotions. I have struggled with feelings of guilt, regret, depression, even feelings of suicide. But I serve a God who is Greater than our feelings, and He knows everything! And yet, ah yes, yet, He still loves me! He still called me according to His purposes. And He created me unique and different for His glory and for His plan for my life. If God were to answer my prayer as a girl, “I want to be normal, I want to be like every other girl in my class..” — then friends, I wouldn’t be sitting here ministering His Word to you now. God is greater! And once I believed that He was greater than my feelings–and that He knew everything about me, the good and the bad. I realized that I served an Extraordinary God. A God who saw a work of art when He created me. A God who doesn’t make mistakes. A God who knows me better than I will ever know myself. A God who forgives! A God who heals! A God who restores! And a God who
calls the ordinary, manic bipolar disorder girl–and equips her to serve her Extraordinary God.
Remember as you sit there feeling like God can’t use you; You are too damaged, to different, to shy, to introverted, to uneducated…God knows everything. And in Him you can stand confident. He is greater than the labels the world puts on you. He is greater than the labels you put on yourself! And if you allow Him, God will use you, right where you are. For His glory. In His way! And on His timetable.
The world labeled me bipolar. But when God created me–He only saw a masterpiece! He didn’t see a flawed girl who needed “fixing”. He didn’t make a mistake when He created me! And He didn’t make a mistake when He created you! Psalm 139: 13-14 For you created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.; Ephesians 2: 10 For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.
Today, I no longer pray, “God make me normal”. Today, I pray and thank God for using an ordinary girl to show the world the awesomeness of an Extraordinary God!

God, we praise You and thank You for loving us so much. We thank You for unanswered prayers!
You know everything! And You are greater than our feelings. You are the God that heals, restores, equips, and sends out ordinary people to show the world how Extraordinary You are!
We serve an Extraordinary God! We praise You, Lord! And we look forward to the day when we can stand confident before you knowing that You are greater than our feelings, and You know everything about us. And yet, You still love us and call us Your child. Thank You for Your Truth to us. May we daily remind ourselves of Your greatness and Your mercy. And that You do not make mistakes when You create! We are Your masterpieces. We are fearfully and wonderfully made–just as we are! In Jesus’ Name, Amen..

Be blessed!
An ordinary girl, serving an Extraordinary God,
April

      
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