The PearlyGates list features material that Pastor Tim thinks is funny but would probably generate emotionally fuelled feedback if sent to his other more general and family safe lists. He knows the jokes are theologically, politically, and/or socially incorrect and he’s ok with that. And yes, he would tell these jokes to his mother, his children and even his church in certain public speaking situations where he is called pastor for reasons other than the jokes he tells.

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Christmas Tree Hunt

Once again I feel the need to point out the disclaimer that appears above.

It was supposed to be a happy time, but it wasn’t. Santa was really angry. It was Christmas Eve, and NOTHING was going right. Mrs. Claus had burned all the Christmas cookies. The elves were complaining about not getting paid for the overtime they had put in while making toys, and the reindeer had been drinking all afternoon and were dead drunk. They had taken the sleigh out for a spin earlier in the day and crashed it into a tree, breaking off one of the runners.

Santa was beside himself with anger. “I CAN’T believe it! I’ve got to deliver millions of presents all over the world just a few hours from now, and all my reindeer are drunk, my elves are on strike and I don’t even have a Christmas tree! I sent that stupid little angel out HOURS ago to find a tree and he isn’t even back yet! What am I going to do?”

Just then the little angel opened the front door and stepped in from the snowy night, dragging a Christmas tree behind him. “Yo, Santa,” he said, “where do you want me to stick the Christmas tree this year?”

And thus the tradition of angels perched atop the Christmas trees came to pass.